My name is Lubbert Das
Performance, Experimentica 2024, Chapter Arts Centre, Cardiff
This non-linear, narrative performance tells the myth of a stone that is passed from subject to subject across generations, living inside them from birth to death, outlasting them all.
Moving from space to space in the back rooms of Chapter, the work creates a fractured chorus of incoherence and forms of speech considered forms of madness. In the Bosch painting, the stone of folly is a falsehood: in this performance, it is ambiguous if the stone exists or is a false narra- tive created by a series of quack doctors.
The performance, using scraps and sheets of paper with the fractured script, was performed over the course of two hours by myself and Dan- iella Valz Gen. Across the space, various sculpture props including latex croc-puddles, embroidered gloves, scraps of script, and melting plaster music stands, were deployed as set, costume and prop. At various points we infected the technology of the building, including the tannoy system and the security walkie-talkies to echo the script across the building.
My name is lubbert das
today the pebble shifted slightly
and i could not get out of bed
it grates against my soft lobes still
sometimes i feel it next to my eyes
we dont know how it arrived there
something to do with a raw piece of bacon i ate once
or did i tell you i was dropped on my head as a baby you know before my skull had
the soft parts of my crown still pliant open why do they make babies like that
no kneecaps A FALSE NOSE FALSE / TEETH FALSE HAIR ENAMELLED HANDS FALSE FEET
stone crept in the hole
i was crying in the job centre and asking
why am i not normal i just want to know why i am not normal
i want to know why i am broken
shard of flint lodged in my stupid little brain
a natural fool
why am i always falling behind
an ever increasing backlog of emails to send
8 months, i tell you, 8 months is my limit, my giddy limit !!
hold still we can remove it quickly
the time it takes for the flint to orbit my mind
i cannot hold a job for longer than 8 months
another orbit of the skull
solar return of the flint folded into my cerebellum
a curdled milk
help me to remove the stone
master,
cut the stone out, fast.
this next bit must serve for me,
there was a period of time where i only ate broccoli and salt
a time where i only ate toast
another time where i only ate porridge
a time where peas and eggs were all i
and then another where it was chicken and spinach
rocks may seem like slow actors and yes
the stone will outlast me but
the poison they leach out can happen in a human timeframe in a single lifetime i tell you those things are toxic !
microparticles blending with neurons hard little carapaces forming around flakes and shards
gristle
help me to remove the stone
cut the stone out, fast.
i know you are there
damaging our brain which damages our sodium which damages our kidneys
there are not enough languages there is not enough time there is also too much time
the back of our throat is tender meat
is it time to be alone again
are we ever alone no of course not [the stone]
we are googling our symptoms again such a cliche
‘feeling we dont exist’
this could be an existential question it could be philosophical google decides it is medical our emotions are
did you know there is a song released in 1997 that starts to warp time when it comes on they only play it on certain nostalgic radio stations
& a plant falls two flights of stairs - no,
is pushed
it is unclear if this is our fault
they are trying to see through the blinds again
the person who originated our fear of windows tells us that we like darkness
which is funny because
we don’t !!
we tried to write about it by pretending to be mythology
it didnt work because
we did not turn into a tree
and after all you are still there and what we do not know is when you arrived
were you there at the start and if you were
were all the windows and doors violated like we thought, or did we
always
have
an active imagination
we dont know which is worse
coming into our house and stating he will smoke then -
or the smaller thing from the more significant person
scritch scritch scritch
we truly thought the failing was our own
i hate men actually
no its a joke theyre fine!
asterisk i hate RICH men
putting out a cigarette in the teacup we bought in a charity shop
it was a nice teacup bone china green leaf pattern
we smashed it up and sent it in the post to him
no we didnt
have his address actually
i guess its the thought that counts
two weeks later looking guilty in the novelty pancake cafe
what the fuck kind of name is harry hand
harry will not sleep in the other bedroom and this is how it begins
or ends
idk
wait so you dont want blood
you dont want to bleed
are you afraid of growing up hoho! i think we’re onto something
they learned from a manual that joan of arc was a disease
my body interfered with for so long
take that how you will
it could be the expected interpretation but it could also be
small things
being forced to remove your clothes in front of a nurse and stand on a scales
as for other avocations of women there are plenty of other women to perform them
I MISS LORINA BULWER WAS EXAMINED BY DR PINCHING OF WALTHAMSTOW ESSEX AND FOUND T
O BE A PROPERLY SHAPED FEMALE
you need to take care of this one they are so trusting
sit on the edge of the pink bath and cry
i am not good
anymore
i heard somewhere that a spider’s web is their external brain so
i made a list of my ten diagnosed madnesses
tore it into strips and ate them whole
this too is a way of externalising things - -
master, cut the stone out, fast.
the stone is doing this to you and
you failed the test
we proclaim you mad
you carry the stone within you
and so
it is time
to remove it
you will not feel any pain and afterwards
you can be normal ! you will not be broken ! you will be able to work ! which is what we all want
is it not
you will be a right angle a set square you will line up on a grid
lubbert das, we will drink to your entrance into the workforce
yes yes, from my funnel hat! red wine straight from the hat
whats that
meester snyt die keye ras
myne name Is lubbert das.
